3 Reasons Why Your Therapist Should Know the Dynamics of a Gay Relationship

It’s safe to say, you and your partner are comfortable going to therapy to improve and strengthen your relationship. However, does your therapist truly understand the dynamics of a gay relationship?After all, you probably know what’s it’s like misunderstood in other areas of your life. Your therapist shouldn’t add to the list of those who misunderstand you.Rather, they should be backed with knowledge regarding modern gay relationships. Of course, your therapist should respectful and resonant as well.If you’re unsure about whether or not your therapist knows the dynamics of a gay relationship, consider these three reasons why they must.

1. They Understand Current Influences

First, your therapist should know and understand the many factors that influence a gay relationship, which include:

• Gay lifestyle

• Self-esteem issues

• Friendships

• Shame

• Family dynamics

• Social status

• Work culture

• Relationships

This is all part of what it means to be culturally competent— being gay and also understanding gay relationships.If you are unsure if your therapist is culturally competent, ask them.You want to ensure that they will have the background knowledge to address relevant issues in your relationship. This, as opposed to “learning on the fly.”

2. They Are Empathetic

Another important piece of understanding gay relationships is empathy. When your therapist is empathetic, they support you and have excellent listening skills.Toward you, your partner, or your relationship, their stance is judgment-free. Rather, they do their best to understand the complexities and issues that you are both facing.Remember, empathy is different than sympathy. A sympathetic person may think that they are understanding and supportive. However, they often try to “solve” the problem for you. Or, they dismiss your feelings and perspective without trying to understand them.A competent therapist familiar with gay relationships will instead try to create an empathetic environment where you and your partner feel safe to discuss the issues you’re facing.

3. They Foster a Strong Bond

Third, the objective of your therapist should be to build a strong therapeutic relationship with their client.Building empathy and communicating cultural competency is important while creating a strong therapeutic relationship. However, there are other attributes to consider as well, such as:

• Listening to the client

• Providing perspective but not their opinion

• Creating space for expression

• Refraining from judgment

• Demonstrating a willingness to provide help and support

In the end, your therapist should empower you to navigate your relationship issues. Ideally, you learn the tools and have the awareness to feel confident that you can take care of your life, including how you handle relationships.

How to Know Your Therapist Is Qualified

You’ve likely completed internet research on your own to find a qualified therapist. Friends might have even provided recommendations to you as well. However, the only way to truly know that your therapist will be the right fit for your needs is to talk to them.A discussion could occur over the phone such as when you make initial contact or when you sit down for an introductory session.Do your homework but also trust your gut. If you don’t think that this will be a good fit, find someone that will fit better—it’s perfectly okay. Remember, this is your relationship and your life.—Plenty of qualified and well-trained therapists are out there. Yet, if you want to see a therapist about your relationship, they must have a thorough understanding of gay relationships. Cultural competency, empathy, and the ability to build strong therapeutic relationships are all critical to this understanding. To learn more, please contact me today. I’d be happy to see if we’re a good fit or help you find a quality gay couples therapist for you.